the climb to enlightened violence

i woke up early this morning.
i woke up really early this morning.
i woke up really early after going to bed really late.
i woke up really early after too little sleep just for the purpose of getting up to varsity without needing to rush and hurry like the last few days.
i made an extra-special effort to set my alarm early and wake up super-early so that i could amble up to varsity in a relaxed manner so that i was fully prepared to absorb knowledge in my comsci lecture.
i made a superhuman effort to prepare myself for an early morning in spite of the evils of television reduceing my sleeping hours to but a scant handfull.

i then went back to sleep and had to rush up to varsity.
i rushed up for my one and only lecture of the day.
on thursdays i have one lecture in the morning and that's it. no more. no less (or so i thought).
and it was cancelled (definite possibility of less then).
thoughtlessly and inhumanely cancelled.
i could have woken gracefully into the day and done all sorts of useful things instead of being dumped into an awake state like a bum off a train cart before it pulls into the station.

the excuse given was that the lecturer was sick.
she could be no worse off than i.
i'm still suffering from some bastard cold from outer space.
every time i get to campus my left ear gets block from the change in altitude and refuses to unblock until just before i decide to leave, providing hours of amusement on the way home as i return to a more normal atmosphere remember... my university is a short mountain-climb away from actual civilization.
its kinda like a shaolin temple, only filled with idiots in stead of monks. And the buildings are nowhere as nice. And i don't think there's a prayer wheel anywhere to be found.

but my impending eardrum rupturing fun and search for enlightenment in the freezing dark of the winter morning is not the point.
the point is she shoulda sucked it up and come in to lecture.
if i have to drag myself out of bed before riding a mountain goat to the lecture venue (ok... its a bus... but i have to walk to the bus) then the least she could do is drive in her comfy car, park in her reserved spot, and bore us to death for 45 minutes.

hmm.... actually that doesn't sound so fantastic.
ok. what about this:
she can take as many sick days as she wants as long as she phones me to let me know that i don't need to break out the ice picks and carabiners in the morning.
then i can lie in bed comfortable in the knowledge that i'm not learning important information that will be asked in the exams at the end of the year.

hmm.... actually that doesn't sound so fantastic either.
all right:
she can be as sick as she wants as wants as long as i get 5% added to my final marks every time she coughs, 8% for a sneeze, 10% per sick day, and a whopping 20% if there are any technicoloured yawns involved, 25% if there's blood.
that sounds fair to me.
i could pass with one conversation to god on the big white phone followed by a "get well soon" baseballbat blow to the face.
of course i'd have to claim the wheeze of air leaving her body was a cough.
And no-one would be able to find out who spiked the drinking water at the lecture podium otherwise they might claim something about unfair marking practices.

you know something... i'd do a lot more varsity courses if that was the marking scheme.
hell! with some of the lecturers i've had, i'd be doing so well people would be sponsoring me to stay in varsity.


Blogger kleinbaas said...

lol, great pic :)

1:34 PM  
Blogger moonflake said...


2:24 PM  
Blogger totalwaste said...

you're wrong about one thing, zen. there is a prayer wheel on campus. but it's currently being guarded by the yeti; and lord know that yetis and cs students don't mix. i don't know about the monks though. do dark-arts majors count?

8:38 PM  
Blogger zenstar said...

the closest thing we had to dark-arts majors (besides the goths doing fine art) were those people that sold pizza slices at captain doregos and they got replaced by cafe nescafe cafe cafe cafe... years ago.

and i got along fine with the yeti. she used to serve me chips at cap'n dogs (although i think most people thought she was a bearded lady).

10:01 PM  
Blogger ChittyChittyBangBang! said...

Reminds me of my days at UCT. I had one lecture to attend every Friday... 5th lecture period, and I hated it. Seriously infringed on the start of my weekend and taking the bus up to the main campus that time of the morning just seemed wrong.
Feel your pain, but kinda low on symathy.:)

12:18 PM  
Blogger totalwaste said...

mmph. close enough. i wouldn't say having your food spiked with foreign objects and yeti fur counts as "got along fine with", but to each his own...

6:02 PM  

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